A Lifetime of Suprises
by imnotjkr
Summary: Sirius never stopped suprising Remus. But maybe it would have been better if he had.


**AN:** Written for challenge 2, round 2 of the harrypotter-las on livejournal, for the prompt "Surprise!"

**A Lifetime of Surprises**

Remus grabs one from the pile and then "Arghh" he yells, waving his hand wildly to free it from the bite of the charmed chocolate frog he had unwittingly picked up.

Two boys at the carriage doors watch, laughing, until he shakes it loose. It sails out the window and "Merlin, that must have been twenty feet!"

"I'm James," the shorter of the two says, readjusting his glasses distractedly. "James Potter."

"And I'm Sirius Black," the other says and even at eleven Remus is struck by his beauty and poise.

He will never meet anyone quite as special as Sirius.

"So you're a werewolf," Sirius says over his hand of exploding snap cards.

Remus freezes in terror and then looks round at the other boys to see James ducking his gaze, face flushed, and Peter, pale and shaking, his eyes darting round in an attempt to avoid. He tries to deny it, tries to accuse back, tries to defend himself, tries to beg for his life, but the words curdle and die in his throat.

"I don't care," Sirius adds and then, after checking with the other two who nod, if less confidently, "We don't care. You're our friend."

"Happy birthday son," his dad says over his newspaper, offering Remus a fond smile. "You've got presents from your friends." He pushes the pile of post over.

James and Peter send the usual, handfuls of tricks, sweets and Quidditch paraphernalia, but Sirius sends a letter.

_Hi,_  
><em>My parents wouldn't give me any money, so this year your present is a nickname. You said once that you'd never had a proper one and you sounded sad. I eventually decided on Moony. I've told the others, so you have to answer to it now whether you want to or not.<em>  
><em>Sirius.<em>

There is a dog in the dorm where Sirius just was and he _can't_ have been this stupid, they just can't, but here they are, a stag and a dog and a rat and they think they're a match for a full grown werewolf. But they did this for him and no one in his whole life has ever made him feel this special, has ever accepted the wolf. After a childhood of his parents trying to purge the werewolf from him and others leaving, he had hoped someone would try and understand him completely.

"Thank you," he says.

"'Remus, I think you're gorgeous and really want to snog you'," Remus reads aloud, eyebrows sky-high as he holds the piece of paper full of these half-formed letters out of an embarrassed Sirius' reach. "'Remus, You know how James likes Lily. That's how I like you.' Honestly Padfoot, I can't believe you're this soppy."

"I can't believe I agreed to show you my other attempts at trying to tell you how I felt about you," Sirius says, still shame-faced.

Remus smiles and leans over to appease him with a kiss. "I think it's sweet," he says, "and very funny."

"He didn't mean to," James says, but he doesn't look convinced and Remus knows that he's the reason Sirius has a black eye.

"He wants to say sorry," Peter says, with a squeak and an apologetic smile.

"He tried to kill me, you all tried to kill me," Snape snarls when Remus tries to apologise, to explain.

"He deserved it," Sirius says, but it's defensive and Remus can see the red round his eyes from where he's been crying.

"We can't go back to the way we were," Remus says, "but I think, I hope, we can stay friends."

He had lost everything: his brothers and his sister and that baby boy who they had all cherished. But most of all, he had lost Sirius.

Not just his friend or ex-boyfriend or the one who had stood by him, despite watching with suspicious eyes. He had lost who he thought Sirius was. His Sirius could never have harmed a hair on Lily or Harry's head, and only hurt James in the way that teenage boys do. This Sirius, who Remus had thought he knew, was instead the stuff of nightmares and betrayal.

How could he not have _known_?

Shit, bollocks, bugger, crap. He keeps up a steady stream of curses as he reaches for his cloak and his wand. His eyes fix again on the name that he fears and hates and longs for more than any other. But Harry, he needs to protect Harry.

His eyes return to the parchment to make sure he knows his destination and catch on a name that shouldn't be there, that couldn't be there. His mind whirls with questions and possibilities before fixing on one certainty. He needs to see Sirius' face. When he sees those eyes, he will know.

He doesn't get many guests, out here in the quiet countryside, so he is certainly surprised when he opens the door and nearly gets bowled over by a large shaggy dog. He is careful to close out the outside world quickly, allowing the dog to become who it should be, Sirius who leans over and whispers, "I should never have risked this, never have let you go," against his lips. He can only hope that Sirius is here to stay, that this dream will last just a little longer. That it's real only makes it more fragile, more precious.

Moony howls against the inside of his skull in an agony he can barely comprehend as he stares at the veil that spirited HIM away. He is sure he is doing something, saying something, but everything seems to have frozen on the moment when HE fell and it can't be real, it just can't be, please, please. Hopes and dreams of futures and possibilities fracture and crash as Moony storms and rages. After all the sufferings, all the tragedies, part of him had thought Sirius invincible.

He doesn't think he has ever been this heartbroken at being proved wrong.


End file.
